First visit! I was blond.. Oh goodness.

 Super nice nurse!

 Most recent. They had to try and stick that nose thing down my nose (no duh megi) like four times. The first time I cried and wouldn't let them, the second time when they had it half way down I pulled it out (IT HURT) The third time the nurse hit something in my nose and there was blood everywhere. Then finally I let them do it. BUT inbetween all that I had attempted to drink what I would have had to if this wasn't in my nose, and it was so gross and like impossible for me.

WELL. I've been hospitalized four times over the past months and I've been in the ER over 20 times. I'm sick. You probably can't tell. Because I'm usually smiling and laughing and attempting to tell a story that probably will make no sense. I had my appendix taken out, then I had a cyst that was on my ovary that burst inside my stomach. Then, I was back in the hospital. Because there was more that was wrong. I had two more surgery type procedures done and that's when they said I should be okay, but I'm still not. I get sick every now and then and I can't even do anything or move because it hurts so bad. I'm on like five different medications and they make me feel dizzy and sad. But it's all just masking the pain. People do treat me differently now and I hate it, I really am not the same I'm not going to lie but I really am the same person. I might be moody.. a lot of the time but it's because I don't feel good and you have no idea how terrible the feeling is when you really don't know what's going to happen and what's going on while laying in the hospital at three in the morning.. No one gets it and when people say they do it's like no you have no idea what I am going through and you probably never will, but I'm not going to get mean about it. I don't know I just wish people would understand that it's not my fault that I'm in the hospital all the time and people get worried and who knows what's going to happen because I sure don't. But I'm sick, the end. You get used to it after a while. And if you ask me how I am? I'll probably say fine or okay. I haven't said "good" in the past two months, because that would be the biggest lie.